The value of a true gift from God can only grow over the course of time. Our son Matthew is such a gift. The value of this extraordinary child can never be measured, but it continues to grow each day and we are blessed to be his parents.

Matthew has taught me more about God, myself, life, love, friendship, and motherhood than any other person I have ever known. 

Matthew is outgoing, funny, stubborn, courageous, loving, rambunctious, fearless, and quirky. He hates haircuts and riding in the car, thinks he can read any book, always wants to brush his teeth by himself, loves to give hugs to everyone he meets—but only if I am holding him, has beautiful blue eyes, is fascinated with brushing his sister’s long hair, is crazy about French fries—but only the skinny kind, and makes new friends everywhere we go. 

He is a typical three-year-old boy who also happens to have Down syndrome.

When Matthew was born in July 2001, my husband Chuck and I were already the proud parents of a nine-year-old daughter, Lauren and a seven-year-old son, Andrew—each both exceptional and gifted children in their own right. For seven years we had deliberated whether to have a third child. Both of us came from large families and two children just didn’t seem like enough, but the time never seemed to be right to have a third child. When I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant with Matthew, we knew that God had finally taken the decision out of our hands, so we were sure this baby was meant to be.

When I went into labor on a Saturday afternoon, it was somewhat unexpected since I was due to be induced the following Monday. We have no family living in the area and even our two older children were staying with their grandparents in Illinois so Chuck and I quietly went to the hospital by ourselves to have our new baby. Late that evening, about two hours after Matthew’s birth, we had just finished making celebratory phone calls to our friends in Mississippi and our families in Illinois and New York when several doctors and nurses with solemn faces walked in. With heads lowered and hands clasped, they circled my hospital bed and informed us that Matthew had most of the characteristics of a child with Down syndrome. 

Shocked and stunned do not even begin to describe the emotions that we felt. It was so unexpected that it was difficult to comprehend what they were telling us. Through many tears we re-phoned all of our family to tell them the news, and it was the loneliest, saddest night of our lives. We were devastated and heartbroken. We held hands and cried almost all night. 

In the wee hours of the morning we received another blow when we were informed that Matthew was having difficulty breathing, that it was probably related to a hole in his heart, and that he was being transferred to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). What followed were three very long weeks in NICU as they tried to figure out what was wrong with him and culminated ultimately in surgery — not for a heart problem (which thankfully resolved itself on its own), but for a temporary colostomy. Matthew was diagnosed with Hirschsprung’s disease, which simply means a portion of his colon did not develop any nerve endings and he therefore could not have any bowel movements. Because of this problem, his intestines and stomach were inflating with air and were pushing up on his lungs causing the difficulty in breathing. 

We didn’t know a thing about Down syndrome or Hirschsprung’s disease for that matter, but we knew that this was not what we expected or wanted. I was exhausted from the pregnancy and delivery, and spent every day and night at the hospital for those three weeks. I didn’t think I could deal with any of this and felt like someone had dropped me into an alternate world where everything and everyone looked the same, but nothing felt like it was right or that I belonged there. We were also told that Matthew would have a colostomy until he was two years old and that changing a colostomy bag was just soooo much easier than changing a dirty diaper! (Trust me, it’s NOT!) 

After seeing our sweet baby hooked up to a variety of machines with tubes and IV’s running in and out of him for those three weeks, the Down syndrome part of it became the least of our worries. He was our baby and we just wanted to take him home where he belonged. 

Despite those first bumpy weeks of his life and corrective colon surgery eight months later, Matthew is happy, healthy, and growing like a weed! The last three years have flown by and he is now enrolled in preschool. There are still times when I get sad, but they are few and far between now. I never knew my heart could be so broken, or that I could love so deeply.

Some of the best advice we were given in those first few days was that the way we presented Matthew to the world would teach the world how to treat Matthew. For our family, we found that the best way to do this was to just be open about it. The first few weeks we sent almost daily emails out to let people know what was going on with Matthew and how we were doing emotionally. There was instant and overwhelming support and prayers, which really helped us through the rough times. We continue to encourage family, friends and even strangers who are curious to ask us any questions they have about Down syndrome or Matthew. 

I can honestly say that I would never have wished for Matthew to have Down syndrome, but today I would not change a thing about him. Matthew is who he is and we love him for exactly who he is. From the moment he was conceived, he was never meant to be anyone other than himself. 

Matthew continues to amaze and teach me everyday. From all three of my children I have learned that they are turning out differently than I dreamed they would on the first day of their lives. They are all interesting, unique, and special people with a variety of talents, and are growing in ways that I never, ever imagined. That’s what makes it so fun. I am so thankful to God to have been given the opportunity to be their mother, and to love and cherish them. 

Jean Weiss 
315 Monterey Drive 
Clinton, MS 39056 
Home: (601) 924-0458 
Cell: (601) 750-3291 
Email: weiss_ jean@yahoo.com