My name is Debbie Hartung and I have been married to my husband, Richard, for 13 years. We had our first child, Sylvia when I was 37. We had waited a long time to have a child and were so excited and thankful for her. She was a dream come true: blonde hair, blue eyes and born ready to face the world. She walked at nine months old and by the time she was three, I told her father he would have to take over her language development because she had already learned all the words in my vocabulary. And she was as kind and loving, as she was smart. God had given me the perfect child, we were very close and life was wonderful. I was finally beginning to look like a woman again instead of a Volkswagen, Sylvia was in school and Richard had hired enough managers at work to have time to spend with us. Our family was perfect, or so I thought. 

Then one morning, “Father’s Day 2000” to be exact, I felt a little sick in the shower that morning. I did my usual primping, fixed Sylvia breakfast and noticed I still didn’t feel quite right. As I sat watching the TV, I went over the last few weeks in my head, OH MY GOD I WAS …….L A T E……….I jumped up, told Sylvia to stay here with her Dad, I would be right back. I drove to the corner drug store and bought an EPT, I even remember telling my friend at the check out to pray for the flu. I came home and within minutes my perfect life was totally disrupted. Here it was, two months after my 40th birthday and I was pregnant. I ran in to tell my husband in tears, he was ecstatic, not realizing I was devastated. I didn’t want my perfect world interrupted. But after a few days I realized I had to prepare so I made my doctor’s appointment. 

My doctor told me of a new test, Chronic Villa Sampling that could test the placenta at 10 to 12 weeks of pregnancy to make sure the baby was ok and it was much less dangerous than early amino, so I scheduled the test. I had had some problems with my first pregnancy and even thought at one time Sylvia might have Down syndrome, so Dr. Barbie knew I wanted to know the baby was all right. I was excited at the possibility of finding out the sex this early; I could start on the room immediately. I went to the specialist and the test was given and forgotten. Several days later my phone rang, the caller ID said, Women’s Clinic, “That’s strange,” I thought, “did I miss an appointment?” “Debbie, this is Dr. Barbie,” I heard on the other end, “I wanted to call you myself.” Still confused and not getting it, I listened. “Debbie, you’re having a girl and she has D O W N S Y N D R O M E.” I don’t remember when or how I told my husband or parents, I just remember wanting to wake up from the nightmare. 

We went to see the specialist and he gave us a piece of paper with a list of possible deformities or problems, all in technical doctor terms. We had no idea what it meant. Then he said we had to make a decision…. whether or not we wanted to keep our baby…..My first impulse was NO, I don’t want to do this, just make it go away. My sister-in-law has a child with Autism and her life is sometimes very difficult. I couldn’t live like that, I’m not strong enough! I don’t like medical stuff! I don’t want a child that will have to live in an institution some day! I don’t want her to be hurt or be made fun of! What if I died before her and she becomes a burden for her sister! A million reasons went through my head of why I could not keep this baby. But thank God for my Richard. We sat down and I began to pour out my reasons for why I should terminate this pregnancy. And very calmly my husband said, “In theory, legally, I have always thought a woman has the right to choose, but now that is my child, I’m just not sure.” I need time to think about this, maybe talk to our minister. I don’t know that I could live with myself knowing I killed my baby because she wasn’t perfect. I was shocked, my quick solution was gone and now I was going to really have to deal with this. I looked on the Internet at wonderful testimonial after testimonial; of course I didn’t want to believe them. I told Richard, no one is going to write a letter that says my child has DS and it stinks, so these opinions must be tainted. So I called Dr. Barbie again, and I said, “Please help me, Richard wants to keep the baby and I’m scared, I don’t think I can sacrifice the rest of my life for this baby.” Her words saved me and my baby, she said, “I have seen sick children, and these are usually not sick children, they are truly a blessing, they seem to have been given something extra to make up for anything they might lack.” So after a few more days of prayers, I announced to Richard that I was going to have “Savannah,” and I never wanted to mention abortion again, the decision is made, we’d go on and we did. 

I had a rough pregnancy that eventually ended with preeclampsia and an emergency delivery at 28 weeks. Savannah was tiny, 3 pounds 6 ounces, with orange hair. She was born a week before Christmas. She didn’t need oxygen, and was holding her own, she stayed in NICU 33 days. Every day I went to the hospital, held her, and sang and fell in love with my baby. She wasn’t scary at all, she was beautiful. I often wondered if other people thought she was beautiful, too, or was I just seeing her through a mother’s eyes. Our first year was hard, she was hospitalized with croup for ten days, and had just about every other virus you can imagine, but she was a fighter and I was always amazed at her sweet little attitude. She wakes up beaming and goes to bed beaming. Through a battery of colds or stomachaches, she never lost her good disposition. She had a heart catheterization in November of 2003 and is doing great. 

Savannah is not that different from other children. She works very had at her therapy, she loves to play with her sister and friends. She loves Elmo and babies. She only eats vegetables for her Daddy and she makes each day of my life worth living. She is perfect. When she learns new things she doesn’t rush through them like “typically developed” children. She embraces every portion of the learning process. It’s like getting to slow down the process long enough to enjoy each and every accomplishment. Sylvia flew threw everything so fast, I felt like she grew up overnight, but “Vanna,” as we call her, takes her time. 

I was never much of a career woman, although I started my own business at 25. All I ever really wanted to be was a mom. And God blessed me with a husband that enabled me to stay home when my children were born. So I get to experience every book, every dance step, and every ball game. I get to see every joy and every heartbreak that my two perfect children have. I thank God for both of my children everyday, the one who soars with the eagles and the one who waddles slowly with the ducklings. They both will find their paths in life, the ones God will share with them. And I am just thankful my husband knew perfection comes in many forms, from simple to complex. 

Debbie Hartung 
Sylvia and Savannah’s Mom 
Phone: (601) 992-0114